God's plans never cease to amaze me. He is truly amazing and has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams. In January I finished my fourth round of clomid with no luck. I had conceived the first month on this drug with Elsa and the twins. So, needless to say I was very disappointed. Everyone (usually those who have never struggled with infertility) would always say "It will happen, just stop trying". But, when you are so desperate to add to your family that is MUCH easier said than done because each month is filled with the anticipation that this may be the month and filled with the disappointment of negative pregnancy tests. So, after talking with our fertility doctor and having multiple blood tests each month, he stated that my body can not support a pregnancy on my own and that he would recommend assisted reproduction. Now, I fully support those who chose that option, but we decided that it wasn't really in line with our beliefs on conception. It was a hard decision to come to and one that brought many tears...I felt like a complete failure that I couldn't give Elsa a sibling/Aaron another child and frustrated with my body for not doing what I felt that it should do. I remember one day, Aaron was out running errands and Elsa was down for a nap. It really hit me that Elsa may be it. Don't get me wrong, I am so extremely happy with what God has given to me, but I wanted more! I broke down and got down on my knees to pray. But, I didn't pray for what I wanted. I prayed for strength to surrender to God's plan for my life. Our life.
Now, fast forward a few months.
The half marathon was 5 days away. Aaron happened to ask "when are you getting your period?" I don't know if this was his way of wondering why I was extra crabby, or what...LOL. But, I responded with "I don't know, I don't keep track of that any more." Well, that morning, I was sitting at work, going through my calender wondering when I was going to get it. Hmmm, I think I am a couple weeks late. Still didn't think much of it as I was doing a lot of running and stressed about the upcoming move/new job/etc. So, I bought a pregnancy test that night when I had to stop at the grocery store. Since I had gone for a run prior to this, I kind of threw everything to the side and ran up to shower (grabbing the EPT on my way upstairs). I had tested, hoped in the shower, and then was stunned with the result. I instantly started crying, freaking out about how this was all going to work out (remember, I am starting a new job in Sept). I ran downstairs and I think Aaron got freaked out when he saw me. I showed him the test and he was so excited. Elsa is looking at us wondering why mom is crying and why dad is jumping up and down.
I have to say, it did take me a few weeks to get excited. I felt like a knocked up 16 year old freaking out about how to tell mom and dad. However, in this case the mom and dad were my new partners. I decided to tell them rather early (around 10 weeks) so I could come up with a plan B if they were less than supportive. Fortunately, they were fine with it. So, yeah! We are pregnant! Baby #2 is due 3 Jan 12!! And, for those of you that keep asking, we are not going to find out the gender. This was our (Aaron and I's) deal when we were pregnant with Elsa. He had wanted to know with Elsa, so we agreed we would find out with that one, but if we had another, I would get my wish and have it be surprise. After all, this miracle was a total surprise...why not keep it that way!
